The straw that's breaking my back

I just want to go home. I can't seem to hold back my tears so I'm practically hiding in an unfinished trailer trying to get my mind and body back in sync. And I'm wondering, 'Is this the way I'll act whenever something I perceive as a crisis occurs?' I hope not because that would probably mean a lot more tears for me.

This is the issue - I am broke. I've been without money since the beginning of May, and from what I've been told today, I'll be without money till the end of the first week in June. Come on somebody, I'm a freaking student for crying out loud who moved joyfully and happily to be a part of this great construction project. And now for me to be paid is proving difficult? Give me a break! I have spent $2030 moving and settling in while also taking care of bills in my old apartment, which I tried getting subleased but thats another story. So right now my account is in the red; I have no milk, so I've been eating vegetables for breakfast for a week (those are gone by the way), I'll have no drinking water by Sunday, my bathwash might also be finished by then, tissue paper will definitely be gone later today, and I already walk to work so the gas is left for rainy days; Church is out of the question cos its 9.5 miles away, so how am I going to survive? I'm just tired, tired, tired, and hungry.

Well, thats been good: at least I'm not crying anymore, so I can go back to work. I rebuke any and every resentment and self-pity right now in Jesus name. After all, I still have life, and health.

My case for mobility

I perceive that my mobile use will change when I graduate from the university. At least until I’m either issued a tablet wherever I’ll work, or I change my mobile use to being chained to a desk with a desktop. Shiverrr…. The mere thought is frightening. Right now my case for mobility borders on multitasking usability, and weight: the lighter, the better. Currently at my construction internship I’ve been issued a standard ThinkPad T42, which I use for everyday things like email, Excel and Word files, and so on. Thus it has been a good three weeks since I used my tablet like before, i.e.: writing my lecture notes, drawing, and painting (in tablet mode) (since school is out for the summer), synching with my E90 for my calendar and to-do needs, using in laptop mode for regular computer use, drawing, reading and blogging in bed. And I miss it terribly.

Why has it changed? You ask. Maybe because I now have Cable TV (which I’m already bored with by the way); a wired Ethernet connection (because I moved and Comcast doesn’t supply routers – it’s the 21^st century people, and you could make money doing that), which prevents me from doing all those wireless goodies I used to (and I’m either too lazy or too gas-deprived to retrieve my wireless router from 3.5 hours away by car). So my writing has dwindled to none, and my drawing has trickled into obscurity. <color=”blue”>I sooo have to get a router or a wifi finder.</color>

I think the situation would have been different if I had a smaller machine similar to the Nokia N810, or OQO Model 02, with a wireless card or WiMax or an EV-DO connection, or maybe even a Fujitsu P1620, or a later iteration of any of those or similar devices. But then again, maybe not. Sadly, neither of those beautiful gadgets can easily slip into my jeans pocket, nor can they be held up to my ear without making me look awkward. Apart from that, would it be sensible to have such a small device to take notes on in class? Wouldn’t the size restrict my taking meaningful notes? With drawings, and, tables and those oh-so long calculations? You know, all the good stuff my wonderful engineering Profs try to impart to us willing students. Would it therefore be a good idea to get any of those? For financial reasons I’d say no, since I’m still ‘paying for’ (in the way of lack of money) the purchases of the tablet, and E90. But still, maybe my intense desire for convergence is not worth the hullabaloo, pursuing after, and my ultimately working toward. Maybe having one device that can go everywhere and do everything is really not possible. And maybe my desire to be so mobile would be useful only for a few hours of the day and on weekends if I’m still doing this job after a while. Can anyone consider changing his/her life’s profession just to satisfy and/or quiet his/her tech lust?

Happy Mother's Day